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OW Draft 2 - End of Ch1 by *Fridgecrisis:iconFridgecrisis:



A short while later, Zidaiku approached the apartment. He gently turned the doorknob and pushed, carefully controlling the door to keep it from squeaking. He expected to find total darkness inside, but the television in the corner was on, repeating the menu sequence of The Gift, one of Angel’s favorites. He smiled, knowing he could tease her for this. Silently, he approached the couch and leaned over the back. Wrapped in Zidaiku’s blaket was not Angel, but Melina. She was asleep, her hair fanned out across his pillow and her mouth slightly open. Even in sleep, her eyelids looked heavy and swollen with fatigue.

For a moment, Zidaiku wondered what to do. Sleeping on the carpet without his pillow and blanket would be uncomfortable, but he couldn’t bear to wake Melina when she looked so tired. As he stood there, he caught traces of her sweet vanilla perfume, tipping the scales in her favor.

He walked around to the coffee table and reached down for the remote. As his thumb hovered over the power button, he noticed a plate of chocolate chip cookies laying next to where the remote had been. They were large and loaded with chocolate. Shrugging, he took one and bit into it as he shut off the television.

Melina stirred. Blinded for the moment, Zidaiku couldn’t tell if she was waking up or simply turning in her sleep. Quietly, through a mouthful of cookie, he said, “Melina?”

Her reply was breathy and soft. “Zidaiku. You’re home.”

His hand felt its way to the coffee table and set down the remote. “Yeah, I just got in.”

The blanket and couch shuffled. “Sorry I fell asleep in your bed.”

He smiled. “Don’t worry about it. When did you get home?”

“A little after dark. When did you leave?”

“Just before sundown.”

“So we just barely missed each other,” she said. Zidaiku’s eyes were adjusted to the dark and he could see her now, propped up on one elbow, rubbing her eye with the other hand. After a yawn, she sat up and moved over. She patted the spot where her legs had been. “Come sit with me.”

He sat, and her scent intensified. To distract himself, he took another bite of his cookie. “Mmm. These are delicious.”

“You like them? It’s a new recipe.”

Zidaiku swallowed. “You made these?”

She smiled. “Yeah! Are you surprised?”

He shrugged. “I guess I should have expected it. You’re an amazing cook.”

“Thanks…” She tensed her shoulders slightly in embarrassment. “It’s important to me that everyone likes what I make. I wanted to make sure you approved.”

Zidaiku swallowed the last chunk of cookie. “Wait, you were waiting here just for me to come home?”

She hesitated. “Well… I wanted to watch The Gift too. I must have fallen asleep during the movie, but…” She looked down at her lap. “I don’t know. I just wanted to see you. I was really looking forward to it when I got home, but when you weren’t here, I decided I’d wait for you.”

Zidaiku frowned. “Sorry… You didn’t have to wait up for me…”

She nodded. “I know. But I wanted to. The cemetery was nice, but thinking about my parents just reminds me of how lonely I am without them. Callao’s my brother, but you and Angel, and even Rusk and Indigo… you’re my family now, and I love you guys.” She tensed and faced Zidaiku. “Platonically, I mean. Collectively. Not… romantically. But that’s not to say that I…” She buried her face in her hands.

“Hey, I get it. Don’t worry.” Despite himself, however, he couldn’t ignore the warmth rising in his chest. “We love you too, Mel. Collectively.”

They both broke into smiles and their eyes met. For a fleeting moment, something passed between them and the warmth in Zidaiku’s chest ballooned. But when it ended, Zidaiku reminded himself of reality and broke eye contact.

“I should go to bed,” Melina said. She unwrapped herself from the blanket and stood. “Sorry again for falling asleep here.”

“It’s really okay. Honestly,” he replied. “If it were Angel, on the other hand, I would have to get mad.”

She laughed. “Okay.” After a deep breath, she smiled and said, “Good night, Z.”

“Good night, Melina. Sweet dreams, alright?”

She nodded. “Alright.”
©2009 *Fridgecrisis
:iconfridgecrisis:

Author's Comments

Here's a small piece of what I've been working on. After finishing my first draft and doing a lot of thinking and planning, I've decided to rewrite my book. Not from scratch, of course, but using the first draft as a guide and with a focus on quality rather than quantity of words.

Tell me what you think! Is this new style better than the original?

Comments


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:iconbibi15:
D'aaaw :iconblushingplz:!
That was so cute!
I do like this style more.

--
"Let's eat grandpa!" vs. "Let's eat, Grandpa!"
Proper grammar saves lives.

"I just wanted to see my 'Cherry' get all red..."
"I get red with anger, does that count?"
-Vassalord, vol. 2
:iconfridgecrisis:
Thank you! That's good to hear. I'll be doing a lot more with this style soon. I might even post ALL of Chapter 1 when I'm finished... Hmm.

--
Check out my novel-in-progress, Orphan Wars!

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